Nearning the End...and Also a New Beginning

 

 

I do not know about you, but for me, as I enter the last few weeks of pregnancy I am a hormonal bundle of emotions!  Part of me feels like I have been pregnant for FOREVER, and when you consider that this pregnancy basically backed right up to our miscarriage last winter with our little saint Samuel, I kind of have been pregnant for a long time!  That part of me is so very ready to be done being pregnant and to soak in that beautiful moment where I literally fall in love meeting this new little one that God has sent to our family!  BUT, there is that other part of me that near the end of a pregnancy gets a little nervous, a little scared, and a little nostalgic about how things are currently and how things are about to change! 

 

I am so thankful that my husband and I were able to get away and take some special time together to reconnect and have fun before our newest baby arrives!  But now we are home, and the time before our next son arrives is down to only a few weeks and my thoughts keep going to how things will change not only in our marriage, but for each of our children!

 

 

Our dear Ryan has been looking forward to a new baby entering our family for so long now!  He was praying for a new sibling long before we even found out that we were expecting our Samuel.  He was also our son who took the loss of our sweet baby the toughest.  He LOVES babies and is so thrilled for his newest brother arrive, especially because he thinks immediately after our new baby is born that God will send us his sister then (I don't think he gets it yet that we usually have some time before another pregnancy and another baby!)  He has been working SO hard at learning new skills so that he can be the big helper when his brother arrives; doing laundry, making his bed, taking his own showers, pouring drinks for himself and brothers, making breakfast and snacks and "running" playtime!

Sometimes I fear that he is growing up too fast.  I remember like yesterday my last few weeks of pregnancy with him, and he being the baby we were bringing home from the hospital.  He and I soak up our time homeschooling together just he and I.  Sometimes it is cuddling on the couch reading a great book, exploring a fun new science experiment or simply me listening to him go on and on about his latest ideas (which he has a lot of!)  He totally gets that things are about to change as he suggested this past week that he get a special date with Mommy and Daddy before his new brother comes!  I hope that he and I can still have our special moments even with the transition of a new baby, because as I always tell him "He is my #1 son!"

 

 

My sweet and spunky Connor is who I at times worry the most about, but also think might be the child who does the best with a new baby.  He was only 19 months old when we brought a baby home last time, so this whole baby thing really is a new concept to him and one that he is really excited about!  He has practiced rocking his stuffed animals, singing to them and even claims that he wants to change diapers! 

 

But this little guy CRAVES attention, he loves physical touch and momma's cuddles and I fear he might have a really hard time with a new baby taking up so much time and having so many physical needs.  Thankfully though, this little one especially adores his Daddy!  I think as I have new responsibilities and time constraints of a new baby that it will be a great opportunity for him to have some special one and one time with Daddy, and for a big 4 year old that is a pretty big deal!

 

 

Our Luke, well he has had a unique opportunity in our family to be the "baby" for quite a while!  With each previous addition to our family we had a new baby in the home before the previous one had turned 2 years old.  Luke will be 2 1/2 soon and although he acts like such a big boy in so many ways he definitely enjoys being the baby too.  He still sleeps in his crib, he loves when I rock him before nap time or bedtime and adores all of those special little moments being the "baby" affords him. 

He has been the most physically attached to our new baby in my tummy.  He LOVES to cuddle up next to my tummy, pull my shirt up and talk to and kiss his little brother.  I think he really understands that there is a real person in there, but I do not think he has any idea what he is really in for!  When we were talking about the new baby coming this past week Luke said "Baby will play TRAINS with me!  He will want Gordon!"  Well, not yet buddy, but I'm sure he will be a great teacher to his brother when that day of playing trains comes!

The thing that comforts me the most as we approach this new change and addition in our family is seeing our sons together.  This trio are most simply put the best of friends and I feel truly honored and blessed that God has entrusted our family to add another member to this unique group of brotherly bonds!  Sometimes people fear the social aspect of homeschooling, but seeing our sons together and watching their friendships grow between each combination of them gives me such assurance that they are making the best and most important friends in their life being home together!  Sure, other friends will come in and out of their lives, but these guys, I'm pretty sure they will always have each others backs!

 

So our sweet little son, you take your time, and come when you want, but know that you have a family here that is really excited to meet you.  We know you might stir up our lives a little bit, but you are totally worth it and we cannot wait to see how you bless our crazy, fun filled family!