Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness and St. Gerard's Feast Day

Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness day is October 15th, and a year ago, while I was praying on this day for family and friends who have personally been affected by the loss of little ones in their lives I never expected that only one short year later that myself and our family would have been affected by the loss of our own child.  Pregnancy loss has affected me in ways I never would have expected.  I have cried so many tears that I did not know that I had, I have felt God's love and comfort in different ways than before, and I have experienced true kindness from family, friends and even strangers.

Almost one year ago we saw the exciting results on a pregnancy test that we were expecting our fourth child, and at only 10 weeks gestation we experienced the pure devastation of losing our child by miscarriage.  Pregnancy loss is hard.  Hoping for and imagining the life of a little one and then realizing that God had a different plan took quite a while to really grasp, and I'm not sure if I still completely understand.  Yet you know what, Mary having to watch her son die on the cross and hold Him in her arms was hard too, but it is ALL a part of God's plan.  I know that we need to trust in that.

I wish that we did not have to experience Pregnancy or Infancy loss in our world, but I do love that the day following this day of awareness is the feast day of St. Gerard, the patron saint of Pregnant Women and Mothers!  St. Gerard has always been a special saint to me, especially when our second son was born on his feast day, October 16th!  This year I am praying the St. Gerard Novena for all women who have experienced loss and also who are struggling with infertility. 

I have learned a lot during this past year.  I have learned about how many women, men and families go through the loss of a child alone.  I learned how many families who experience a miscarriage do not know what to do physically with their child, do not feel supported that their child is real, and do not know where to turn during and after their loss.  I have been so touched by so many of you through Children of the Church who have prayed for myself and our family and also those of you who have reached out to me so that I can pray for you or somehow try to help guide you through your own loss.  I hope and pray that if you have or ever do experience a loss of a child during pregnancy or afterwards that you are wrapped in the arms of those who love you and that you truly feel God's love for you.  I hope that you can ask the hard questions and find the best resources for your little one and for your family as you heal.  Please find some of the resources that were most helpful for me and our family HERE.

Each member of our family has been affected by the loss of our child in many different ways.  Our children talk about and pray to their brother every day.  I pray my daily rosary on the rosary that was made in memory of our son and have that special time to not only connect with Jesus and Mary but pray in the intersession of our son.  We try to visit the cemetery on a regular basis, usually at least a few times a month, because it is a place where it is very tangible for our small children to understand our loss and give them a real place to talk to their brother. 

 

It is also emotional having received the true gift from God of another child during the same period of time that if our son Samuel would have lived than this child who I am still carrying and waiting to arrive within the next month would not exist.  I know that God had a purpose for our sweet Samuel, no matter how short of a time he was physically with our family and that He also has a plan for our baby who God willing we will meet soon!  I try to think not that we had a loss but that we gained a little Saint in our family!  May God Bless today and everyday every mother, father and family member who has ever been affected by pregnancy and/or infancy loss. 

 

"Here the will of God is done, as God wills,

and as long as God wills." -

 St. Gerard Majella