When Mother's Day Isn't "Typical"

My husband and I in general are not the biggest celebrators of "Hallmark" holidays.  Why do we need Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc to show love and appreciation to the people in our lives, when we should be taking time each day to show appreciation.  Although it was very blessed, my Mother's Day this year was different than years before for many reasons. 

My husband and I had just returned the afternoon before Mother's Day from a little get away (which was wonderful by the way), but our children were very clingy to Mommy and a little off from our daily discipline and structure.  I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to my parents for watching our crazy kiddos while we were away.  They got to deal with a lot between broken plumbing in the bathroom, water in the basement during a big storm and one of our kids waking up at 3am vomiting!  Yikes!  Thankfully my mom is a rock star and has been around the block with her own children so she handles it all with much grace.

Our view on our vacation!

 

The boys having fun at the new park with my mom while we were away!

Also, this was my first Mother's Day after the loss of our child Samuel through miscarriage.  We went to visit Samuel's gravestone after church, which is something that we go and do multiple times a week but this time was much different.  There were so many people in the cemetery.  It really hit me how many people are grieving the loss of their mothers, sisters, children and friends and how they remember them in a special way on Mother's Day. 

Visiting Samuel's Gravesite and leaving a rose from mass

 

Beyond that, being pregnant again on Mother's Day is such a blessing, but I have to admit it is also sometimes very difficult.  My thoughts are all over the place sometimes, and I try to let myself process through all of the excitement and grief that I experience as it comes.  I usually have each week of my pregnancies mapped out on my calendar, but after the loss of Samuel and having to go back and delete each increasing week I am not doing that this pregnancy.  I set myself these small little goals, usually weekly, and do not let myself think much beyond those.  I am hoping that as time goes on it will get easier, but maybe it won't.  I am in my second trimester and I think that hopefully feeling the baby move in the next few weeks will help me to have better clarity of this precious life inside of me.  I am taking each day and each week as a blessing, but still feel myself guarding my heart for any more potential loss.  As a mother it is heart wrenching to lose a child, but at the same time has truly helped me to appreciate each moment with each of our children. 

With my little loves on Mother's Day

So this Mother's Day, as I received the prayer for mothers at Mass, was given flowers from each of my children and sweet notes of thanks I also said many prayers to all women.  Women who are wonderful mothers and grandmothers in my life and my children's lives, women who have lost children, women who are praying for more children but battling infertility, etc.  We went to our parish prayer garden after Mass to say a quick prayer to Mary and say Happy Mother's Day to her and it really brought it into perspective that SHE is the Mother that we need to be so thankful for, today and every day.  Mary is there to hold us as mothers during our times of excitement, grief, confusion, exhaustion, laughter...each and every moment.  I hope that you all had a wonderful Mother's Day, even if it was not "typical"!