When I became a mother I was still working outside of the home. I worked as a Labor and Delivery nurse for years and then in Community Health. They were wonderful jobs and I really loved what I did, who I worked with and the patients that I cared for. When we had our third son we were moving away from home for my husband's medical training and we decided together that it was the right time for me to stay at home with our children. At that time I had 3 little ones 3 years and younger and my days were full of the chaos and messes of tiny children.
Time passed and we moved back to our hometown and made the
choice to begin homeschooling. It has been a beautiful journey for our family so far, but definitely has its ups and downs. I get comments a lot from strangers, "Oh, I could NEVER homeschool." The thing is, this life, the one that we are living is the only one I know! I try to do what I do, enjoying the grace filled moments with joy, and walking through the tough moments with a cup of coffee in my hand and knowing that tomorrow is always a new day!
Our children have always participated in activities outside of our home. It is important for us for our children to learn about authority outside of us as their parents, and also to have social opportunities outside of our home environment as well. Yet, their previous activities have always been 1-2 hours at a time. Well, this week our oldest two children attended Totus Tuus, a Catholic day camp that runs from 9am-2:30pm. A full day, and let me tell you it has been eye opening to me.
Our big kids being away all day, all week has truly given me a glimpse into what it might be like if they were in traditional school. I have learned even in this short time that there is no good option or bad option out there, just choices for a family to make what works best for them at each time and phase of their life. There are really hard and really beautiful parts of each choice and I feel really blessed to have had this week to help validate the choice that we are making for our family right now.
I remember my days working and how tough it was to leave the kids, but how nice it was to get a break and a change in my daily routine. There are definitely good and tough parts of every schooling choice. This week I am seeing the struggle of dropping kids off, packing lunches after breakfast and waking up little ones to pick kids back up.
Yet, I am seeing graces from having our big kids away for a while as well. Our 3 year old has shown signs of potty training for months (maybe even over a year) but with a new baby in the house and homeschooling I never convinced myself to make the time to push him. Well, having a whole week to give him a lot more individualized attention we decided to go for it and he did perfect! Not even one single accident! Potty training success!
I have had to remind myself how to be a momma of just little ones during the day. We have had lots of story time, cuddles and singing songs! I realize how much time homeschooling takes up with the big kids during my days and how much fun it is to just "be" with the little ones.
The biggest difference that I noticed this week was how much more time that I had for myself. Instead of teaching when little ones were napping I had time (2-3 hours a day) to get things done for me! The to - do list was being checked off. I exercised FOUR times this week! I had time to make something that I really wanted for lunch. I visited my dad who is recovering from surgery with some ice cream. I read an entire book cover to cover!
These are things that I have not always made time for when I throw in the mix of homeschooling into our daily schedule. Yet, they are things I know that I need to find balance for. It might not be to the same extent as I experienced this week, but I know I need to find those little moments each day to re-charge.
Most importantly though, there were a lot of things that I missed. I missed our family being together. I missed those little moments of joy, those moments of learning something new, those moments of building relationships. Our boys also missed each other. Our 3 year old asked about 50 times a day where his big brothers were and when they were coming home; and when we picked up the big boys they went on an on about how much they missed their little brothers!
What I learned this week is that no matter what we God will give us grace. It does not matter if we are working outside of the home, at home with one child, or many; there are positives and negatives to each situation. There are really hard moments and truly beautiful moments no matter what. We just need to keep coming to God each morning; asking, maybe begging for grace. That we might be the best version of ourselves that day to reach out to those around us (our spouse, children, family, co-workers, friends) with love.
We had a truly lovely week, and I am so glad to have had this time to see how our life might be different if we made different choices. Yet, I am so excited to get back to our "normal" day to day routine. I am going to work on trying to find a little more "me" time, and I am going to try my best to enjoy each and every moment with these precious children.
