Pregnancy and Infant Loss is heart wrenching. It is real and it happens often, more often than most of us know and more often than many people talk about. Thank you to Heidi Indahl of
Peanut Butter and Grace for writing the amazing book
. To anyone who has experienced a loss of any kind, please do me the favor of buying this book
Blessed Is the Fruit of Thy Womb: Rosary Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss. No matter if your loss occurred last week or decades ago I promise this book will speak to you. If you know of a mother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend or even stranger who is or has experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss please consider getting them this book along with a rosary.
My first real exposure to infant death was as a new college graduate working as a Labor and Delivery nurse. There were so many families enduring loss, too many families. It did not matter if a family lost a baby at 8 weeks or 40 weeks, it was devastating. One specific family remains in my heart through all of these years. They were a Hispanic family who spoke very little English. We had an interpreter in the hospital who helped the mother get checked in an answer all of the initial questions but they were not able to stay with us the entire time. The mother had learned in her doctor's office earlier in the day that her twin girls had passed away at 24 weeks gestation. Labor needed to be induced to deliver them and afterwards this tiny little labor and delivery room filled with family. This mother and father already had 5 other children who came to support their parents and give their love to their sisters. There were aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and grandparents. It is the grandfather who will forever be etched in my memory. I remember the sweet little girls were wrapped in blankets in a bassinet together and this grandfather had his hand over their heads and prayed the Rosary as he cried. Big tears fell from his face onto the faces of his precious granddaughters. It was so raw to see the pain, but also the love of this family and beyond that their faith in God during a difficult time.
Next, was when I was newly married, yet before my husband and I had any children that a good friend of mine had a miscarriage. I was so sad that she and her husband had lost their little baby, but I felt awkward and did not know how to best support her. I am so glad that even still she felt comfortable to open up and share her experience with me.
Fast forward a few years and after having three wonderful and healthy sons my husband and I found out on the weekend of St. Nicholas's feast day that we were expecting our fourth child. We were thrilled and so excited. A few short months later we found out that our baby Samuel Nicholas had died. I was 11 weeks pregnant and devastated. Thankfully, I was supported my an amazing husband, a wonderful family, and a beautiful community.
As the years went on my husband and I were blessed to have another child and I figured that we had carried our cross of the loss of a child. We continued to watch our friends experience losses, but I got better at joining with them in prayer and understanding the heart ache. Then this past March on the same day that we bought our family's dream house we found out we were expecting again. A few weeks later I realized that yet again God's plan was for our baby to go to Heaven.
All of these experiences have been difficult. Watching the loss of babies from strangers, friends and even my own children is devastating. Yet, through it all, slowly, these experiences are bringing me closer to God. Heidi's book,
Blessed Is the Fruit of Thy Womb: Rosary Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss is like a mini retreat where you walk through each of the mysteries of the Rosary and reflect upon the pain, the questions that you have, the people you need to thank, maybe even the people you need to forgive within the experience of loss. It is a book to help you take grief and doubt and with courage and faith move it to trust. Beyond the wonderful mysteries of the Rosary and Heidi's fantastic reflections to each of them there are also beautiful prayers, questions and a place to journal thoughts. It is a beautiful book, and a true gift to women to help heal wounds and open up through prayer to God's promises to each of us.
Please find the book here:
Blessed Is the Fruit of Thy Womb: Rosary Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss
; the patron saint of librarians and also a crucifix. We are using the same system to organize our books with color coordinating stickers that we started in our past home. Check it out here:
. To anyone who has experienced a loss of any kind, please do me the favor of buying this book 
