Listening to the Holy Spirit - And an Apology

I have struggled a lot with what to do with this blog.  It started as a fun way to talk to and show family and friends what we were doing as a family.  It then opened up to the amazing on line community where even though we are miles apart and sometimes never have even met, friendships form.  I have taken breaks, I have made the blog private, and then I keep feeling called back to it.  I keep feeling the calling to reach out, I keep enjoying the hobby of writing.

Recently I read the book The Benedict Option by Rod Dreher.  It is a bit of a controversial book, but the main point that I took away from it is that the Church is dying, and it is up to US to save it.  That really got to me, like being punched in the stomach.  It is up to us, it is up to ME!  So I took that to prayer, what am I doing to save our church?

I am trying to live a virtuous life as a Christian woman.  I am trying to live out and build up a faith filled marriage.  I am open to life and trying to raise our children with the end goal of guiding them toward Heaven.  I am trying to reach out to friends and families in our community to show them compassion and support, whether it being attending Mass, nurturing friendships, participating in Bible Studies, bringing meals to others during difficult times, and more.  Yet, I keep feeling called to more.

I keep thinking that there needs to be something BIGGER, something more that I can do to bring more people to knowing Jesus and having a true relationship with him.  I then struggle with discerning how I can juggle that calling with my very important and time consuming roles of a wife and mother.  I question and doubt how many people I can actually be reaching with a little blog and what good that is really doing.  Yet then, while I was discerning this and praying to the Holy Spirit about what to do I kept getting signs and messages.

I had taken my blog off line for a while and did not think anyone would really care or notice.  But you did.  I started getting e-mails and messages asking what happened to the blog, asking if I was ok, and checking in with what was going on in my life.  After all of this time of it being me who was the one who is writing and talking; during my time of discernment and trouble; it was all of you who came to me to check in and make sure that I was ok.  This is where I need to come back and apologize.  You, everyone who is reading this, everyone who is supporting me, everyone who is passing my thoughts or messages along to others are ENOUGH.  This little community is a good and healthy outlet that the Holy Spirit is calling me to, during a busy time of my life to reach out to others.  You all are what is saving the Church.  Coming together to support each other, to cheer each other on as we attempt to answer our vocations, to help each other raise and educate our children, supporting each other during difficult times is Jesus within each of us thriving today.  We are the future of the Church and little by little people will see that the Church is still alive within us all. So, thank you for listening.  Thank you for being patient with me.  Thank you for being a part of this community.  I really do appreciate you all.